A Tale of Two Chat Groups

At least the two main groups affiliated with Roatan:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Living-In-Roatan/

Living-In-Roatan@yahoogroups.com

and its pale, wan, sickly counterpart:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/roatan/

roatan@yahoogroups.com

Both provide news and gossip about Roatan goings-on. L-I-R is usually more fun to read; lately that hasn't been the case as the group is infested with blowhardy windbags and Limbaugh acolytes who generally agree on a few basic points:

1. Obama is evil incarnate, leading America into a dark era of socialism

2. If it wasn't for Obama's love affair with Hugo Chavez, Honduras wouldn't be in this mess right now 

3. Hating Obama is the only path to true enlightenment

But, bravo to Ted at Bay Island Beach Resort, who moderates the group but does not censor comments, unlike the so-called roatan bay islands discussion group who admit that "spam and  irrelevant messages are deleted." 

The list is essentially an advertising vehicle for real estate on the island -- anything remotely controversial never sees the light of day. It's perennially perky and upbeat, staid and stolid and stale, but I still read it because someone might be selling something.

I'll be back later to share some of the more memorable posts from the expat voting bloc who are so disappointed in Obama's performance, they clearly can't even think straight.

Conspiracy Theory 101

" Ryan Jenkins -- the "potential suspect" in the murder of his wife, Jasmine Fiore -- has deep ties to an island off Honduras!!!"

 says website TMZ, a sort of Internet sinkhole which you should hurry home to read -- right away, all day every day.


 says TMZ: Jenkins' dad, Dan -- an architect -- helped develop a resort on the island of Roatan. He's credited as the "developer, president and architect" of the project. A rep from SOSA Airline in Honduras tells us Dan owns a 19-seat private jet."

Deep ties. Sound familiar? 

Deep Ted's, Deep Ties ... whaddya think? Coincidence? I wouldn't be surprised if this guy is hiding out at the old Bay Island B Resort right now, paying $26 for a gristly chunk of pig scrotum, listening to the second or third drunken abysmal version of "Margaritaville" while some rum-soaked harpie shouts and spits in his ears about the virtues of crab racing.

It ain't pretty, but God knows we've all been there.

"My Dad built Turquoise Infinity Mango-Pineapple Reef Villas, and All I Got Was This Lousy Extradition"

Yep. Let's hope Celebrity Justice triumphs here. Otherwise, the reality shows will really take over.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/20/ryan-jenkins-model-murder-jasmine-fiore-honduras-canada-extradition/#

Who Cares About Argentina, Anyway?

Actually, I can think of a few things from Argentina that are pretty cool:

1. Steak

2. Astor Piazzola

3. I like the word "Patagonia"

4. They have the world's southernmost city, Ushuia or something

But Honduras is pissed at Argentina now, playing a little game of I'm-suspending-diplomatic-relations-'cause-you-expelled-my-ambassador. Nonny-nonny boo-boo. 

It all comes back to a politician (Carmen Eleonora Ortez Williams) saying she was in favor of Zelaya's removal. Or, as CNN says, she "did not protest the coup." And that's a bad thing, apparently. Sounds like a smart woman.

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/08/18/honduras.argentina.relations/index.html

Another benefit of decreased tourism?

We already dig the decreased traffic and road noise, but one side effect of fewer tourists is less impact on Roatan's reef. Nina Rastogi in Slate makes a few good points:

http://www.slate.com/id/2224171/

End O' World, or just some Blazing Hot Wings?

Costa Rica prez gets swine flu:

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/08/11/costa.rica.president.h1n1.flu/index.html

And protesters burn down a Popeye's!!!

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jwvHYkLwNHnPRv69JuEYQSQ751Kg

Guess this is it, gang.

Rain!

In August!

Mother Whale Eyeless

A sad story all around, and I was just on this beach a few weeks ago.

Some things: If you spotted a beached whale, wouldn't you conclude that the animal belonged in the water, not on the sand? Wouldn't the right thing to do appear to be to  point the animal back toward the sea? The following comment in the Sun-Sentinel begs at least one question: is this what whale experts say? Just leave them there? 

"If they're on the beach, you keep them on the beach," said Vincent Canosa, chief of the Hollywood Beach Safety Unit. "Pushing them out only hurts them." 

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/broward/hollywood/sfl-whales-hollywood-bn081009,0,2061818.story

Today's Songs For Roatan

"I'm So Bored With the USA" / The Clash

"West End Girls" / Pet Shop Boys

"West End Girls" / Brion James

"Born/Raised" / Conk

"Five Million Ways to Kill a C.E.O." / The Coup

OMG

There's an online feud a-brewing between Dorothy Jean Reid and Penny of Penelope's Island Emporium. Could get nasty, folks.

Let's back off and give them some room, and just let everyone calm down, OK?

Ma'am? MA'AM??!?!?

Canario!

This song of his, "Roatan," is one of my favorites. If Pirate Radio was up an' running, we'd prolly be playing it right now.

www.dipity.com/timeline/Roatan-Island

Anyone miss The Cantina as much as I do?

The Cantina addressed a big problem on the island: the lack of a Mexican restaurant worth a sopapilla. It made some awfully devourable tacos, these tasty little gut-bombs that just seemed to beckon you, with tiny, guacamole-flavored kisses, to come feast upon them. There was porky goodness, beefy goodness, chickeny goodness.

I'm back in the U.S.S.A for six weeks, come back, and the Cantina is closed down. 

It's, like, what's the worst thing that could come from having a douchebag for a president? You think, "nothing much," go along your way, and then BAM!

No tacos.

I guess you could tell me to go down the road to Red Hot Chili Pepper restaurant, but like many, I tired of the band after the second album. Everyone knows Flea was better when he was on heroin.

The Cantina was a great hangout, a great place for live music. I could walk there, I could sometimes walk home, I loved the food (did I mention tacos? And burritos?), I love Brad and Tiff, and there's a little more suckage in the world now that it's gone.

And it goes without saying that we didn't need more suckage.

Frog Traveling Case

Road sign outside Punta Gorda

Anyone else get a whiff of rave?

RECO

It has been almost a week that RECO has been powering our place without interruption!!

But for how long, Spock? For. How. Long?

So don't call it a coup

Thanks for your cooperation.

The Political Situation in a cashew nutshell

1. Basically, Honduras had a president who was a total doofus. He did raise the minimum wage and blew a lot of sunshine in the direction of the poor, but his moves were straight out of the Central American Populist Semi-Dictator Handbook. His alignment with Castro, Morales and Chavez had many (read: anyone with money or land at stake) uneasy. His handlebar moustache, white Stetson, and penchant for breaking into vaguely nauseating patriotic songs were bad enough. Then he pushed for a vote that would allow a change in the constitution so he could run for President for another term and, so, then....

2. Congress and the Supreme Court told him: No. 

3. When the president continued his actions, the government reacted.

4. Read that last part again: the military didn't have a dog in this fight at all. They didn't forcibly remove Zelaya from power, Congress and the Supreme Court did and the generals followed orders. So when we Honduran residents  hear "coup," we get defensive. This was a removal from office of an elected official of dubious legality, yes. It looks bad, sure. We get that. But you must admit it was a pretty slick ouster, as ousters go. The whole mission was made easier by the fact that the Spongebob pajamas Mel was wearing at the time of his arrest had those bootie-footsies, so he slid across the marble floors of the Presidential Palace with speed and grace, if not dignity, immediately before his capture.

5. God, we wish that last part was on YouTube.

6. We wish the OAS and US officials like Obama and Clinton would stop acting like Mel's return will infuse all of Honduras with the radiant light of peace and justice. We understand the US hands-off policy, the PC value of it and all, but as we're learning it's different when you live here and have to deal with the stigma of a travel ban and everyone saying "Coup!" all the time. Even Jon Stewart said it was a coup. It's like the Scarlet Letter. 

6. Sometimes it's so embarrassing you just want to hunker down in a hammock.

Coup coup cash-ew.

Realtor breaks leg, sources say

2:23 p.m. unconfirmed reports are indicating that a prominent West Bay landowner and real estate broker has been hospitalized following a fight with a local man. A dispute over money is alleged to be the cause of the argument. A witness adds that the developer, who owns large properties in West Bay, broke his leg during the scuffle.

Surviving in the post-coup anarchy

Well, we're managing as best as we can. Supplies are getting low, but our ears have finally gotten used to the constant wail of the air-raid sirens. Most of our friends and family members just kind of shuffle through their lives in a daze, often reclining in hammocks where we just lay silently and make futile attempts to take stock of the current situation. 

Sorry, I was sleeping in the hammock again. Who knocked over my Salva Vida? damn dogs. Where was I?

The most common signs of the coup's brutal aftermath can usually be found on the pages of the New York Times. And it's tough to find a copy of that on Roatan.

one thing I love about traveling to and from the island...

The pilot actually opens the window vent and sticks his hand out while flying over to Ceiba

Save Roatan!

Save Roatan from what, exactly? From the current economic slump that has everyone searching for lost lemps under wicker-couch cushions? From gringo land barons and/or rampant overdevelopment that washes run-off all across the reef? From the influx of mainlanders who steal Island land and bring (according to some theorists) crime? From AIDS, poverty, disease, unemployment? Save it from itself?

How about simply save it so future generations can still appreciate it, the way we're all lucky enough to do every day? Sound good?

Welcome.